Ecce Homo Complete Works, Volume Seventeen · Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
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I should not like to say that the last two essays in the _Thoughts out of Season,_ associated with the names of Schopenhauer and Wagner respectively, serve any special purpose in throwing light upon these two cases, or in formulating their psychological problems. This of course does not apply to a few details. Thus, for instance, in the second of the two essays, with a profound certainty of instinct I already characterised the elementary factor in Wagner's nature as a theatrical talent which in all his means and inspirations only draws its final conclusions. At bottom, my desire in this essay was to do something very different from writing psychology: an unprecedented educational problem, a new understanding of self-discipline and self-defence carried to the point of hardness, a road to greatness and to world-historic duties, yearned to find expression. Roughly speaking, I seized two famous and, theretofore, completely undefined types by the forelock, after the manner in which one seizes opportunities, simply in order to speak my mind on certain questions, in order to have a few more formulas, signs, and means of expression at my disposal. Indeed I actually suggest this, with most unearthly sagacity, on page 183 of _Schopenhauer as Educator._ Plato made use of Socrates in the same way--that is to say, as a cipher for Plato.
Now that, from some distance, I can look back upon the conditions of which these essays are the testimony, I would be loth to deny that they refer simply to me. The essay _Wagner in Bayreuth_ is a vision of my own future; on the other hand, my most secret history, my development, is written down in _Schopenhauer as Educator._ But, above all, the _vow_ I made I What I am to-day, the place I now hold--at a height from which I speak no longer with words but with thunderbolts!--oh, how far I was from all this in those days! But I saw the land--I did not deceive myself for one moment as to the way, the sea, the danger--_and_ success! The great calm in promising, this happy prospect of a future which must not remain only a promise!--In this book every word has been lived, profoundly and intimately; the most painful things are not lacking in it; it contains words which are positively running with blood. But a wind of great freedom blows over the whole; even its wounds do not constitute an objection.
As to what I understand by being a philosopher,--that is to say, a terrible explosive in the presence of which everything is in danger; as to how I sever my idea of the philosopher by miles from that other idea of him which includes even a Kant, not to speak of the academic "ruminators" and other professors of philosophy,--concerning all these things this essay provides invaluable information, even granting that at bottom, it is not "Schopenhauer as Educator" but "Nietzsche as Educator," who speaks his sentiments in it. Considering that, in those days, my trade was that of a scholar, and perhaps, also, that I understood my trade, the piece of austere scholar psychology which suddenly makes its appearance in this essay is not without importance: it expresses the feeling of distance, and my profound certainty regarding what was my real life-task, and what were merely means, intervals, and accessory work to me. My wisdom consists in my having been many things, and in many places, in order to become one thing--in order to be able to attain to one thing. It was part of my fate to be a scholar for a while.
Text from Project Gutenberg, public domain in the United States.