King Alfred's Old English Version of St. Augustine's Soliloquies Turned into Modern English · of Hippo Augustine
BOOK I
Then said he, his mind often went fearing and searching out various and rare things, and most of all about himself--_what[1] he was; whether his mind and his soul were mortal and perishable, or ever-living and eternal_; and again, about his God, what He was, and of what nature He was; and what good it were best for him to do, and what evil best to forsake. Then answered me something, I know not what, whether myself or another thing; nor know I whether it was within me or without; _but this one thing I most truly know, that it was my Reason_; and it said to me: [1] Passages in italics were added by Alfred to the original Latin. _Reason._ If thou have any good steward that can well hold that which thou gettest and committest unto him, show him to me; _but if thou have none so prudent, search till thou find him; for thou canst not both always keep watch and ward over that which thou hast gained, and also get more_. _Augustine._ _To what shall I commit what more I get, if not to my_ memory? _R._ Is thy memory powerful enough to hold all things that thou thinkest out and bidst it to hold? _A._ Nay, nay; _neither mine nor any man's_ is so strong that it can hold everything that is committed to it.
_R._ Then commit it to words and write it down. Howbeit methinks thou art too feeble to write it all; _and though thou wert entirely sound_, thou wouldst need to have a place retired and void of everything else, _and a few wise and skilful men with thee who would hinder thee in no wise, but give aid to thy ability_. _A._ I have none of these, _neither the leisure, nor the help of other men, nor a place retired enough to suit me for such work_; therefore I know not what I shall do. [Sidenote: 4.14--6.6] _R._ I know then nothing better than that thou shouldst pray. Make known thy wish to God, _Saviour of mind and body_, that thou mayst through such salvation obtain what thou wishest. _And when thou hast prayed_, write the prayer, _lest thou forget it_, that thou be the fitter for thy task. And pray sincerely in few words and with full understanding. _A._ _I will do even as thou teachest me, saying thus_: O Lord, Thou who art the Creator of all things, grant me first to know how to pray to Thee aright and acceptably, and that I may merit to be worthy that Thou _for thy mercy_ wilt redeem and deliver me. On Thee I call, O Lord, who madest all that could not else have sprung into being, nor without Thee could even abide. I call to Thee, O Lord, who leavest none of thy creatures to become naught. To Him I call who hath made all creatures beautiful without any original substance. To Thee I call, who never wroughtest any evil, but rather every good work. To Him I call who teacheth to a few wise men that evil is naught.
To Thee I pray, O Lord, who art the highest truth, and through whom is true all that is true. I pray to Thee, O Lord, who art the true life, and through whom all things live that do live. Thou art the highest blessedness, and through Thee are blessed all that are blessed. Thou art the highest good[2] ... is and beautiful. Thou art the intelligible light through which man knoweth. I pray to Thee, O Lord, who wieldest all the world; whom we can not know bodily, _neither by eyes, nor by smell, nor by ears, nor by taste, nor by touch_; although such laws as we have, and such virtues as we have, we take _all those that are good_ from thy realm, _and from thy realm we draw an example of all the good we perform_. For every one falleth who fleeth from Thee, and every one riseth who turneth to Thee, and every one standeth who abideth in Thee; he dieth who wholly forsaketh Thee, he is quickened who turneth to Thee, and he liveth indeed who abideth in Thee. No one that is wise forsaketh Thee, no one seeketh Thee except he be wise, and no one altogether findeth Thee but the pure in heart. That is, he perisheth who forsaketh Thee. _He who loveth Thee seeketh Thee; he who followeth after Thee hath Thee. Thy truths which Thou hast given us awaken us from the sleep of our sins._ Our hope lifteth us to Thee. Our love, which Thou hast given us, bindeth us to Thee. Through Thee we overcome our foes, both _spiritual and carnal_. Thou who forgivest, _draw nigh to me and have mercy upon me_, because Thou hast bestowed upon us great gifts, to wit, that we shall never entirely perish and thus come to naught.
Thou who didst overcome death when Thou thyself didst arise, _and also wilt make all men arise. Thou who makest us all worthy of Thee, and cleansest us from all our sins, and justifiest us, and hearest our prayers. Thou who madest us of thy household, and who teachest us all righteousness, and always teachest us the good, and always dost us good, and leavest us not to serve an unrighteous lord, as we did aforetime._ Thou callest us back to our way, and leadest us to the door, and openest to us, and givest us the bread of _eternal_ life and the drink _of life's well_. Thou who threatenest men for their sins, and who teachest them to judge righteous judgments, and to do righteousness. Thou strengthenedst us, and yet dost strengthen us, in our belief, in order that unbelievers may not harm us. Thou hast given us, and yet givest us, understanding, that we may overcome the error of those [who teach that][3] men's souls have, after this world, no reward _for their deserts, either of good or of evil, whichever they do here_. Thou who hast loosed us from the thraldom of other creatures, _Thou always preparest eternal life for us, and always preparest us for eternal life_. [3] Supplied by translator to complete the sense. Come now to my aid, Thou who art the only eternal and true Deity--_Father, and Son, and Holy Ghost_--without any variableness or turning, without any need or impotence, and without death. Thou who always dwellest in the highest brightness and in the highest steadfastness, in the highest unanimity and the highest sufficiency; for to Thee there is no want of good, but Thou always dwellest thus full of every good unto eternity. _Thou art Father, and Son, and Holy Ghost._
_And all the creatures, about whom we say that they seem to us inharmonious and unsteadfast, have yet somewhat of steadiness, because they are bridled with the bridle of God's commandments._ God gave freedom to men's souls, that they might do either good or evil, whichever they would; and promised good for a reward to them that do good, and evil to them that do evil. [Sidenote: 11.1--12.17] With God is prepared _the well-spring of every good_, and thence is prepared and granted to us every good of those which we have; He shieldeth us against every evil. Nothing is above Him, but all things are under Him, or with Him, or in Him. He created man in His own image, and every man who knoweth himself knoweth that all this is true. To that God I cry, and say: Hear me, hear me, O Lord, for Thou art my God and my Lord, my Father, and my _Creator_, and my _Governor_, and my hope, and my riches, and my honor, and my house, and my inheritance, and my salvation, and my life. Hear me, O Lord, hear me, _Thy servant_. Few understand Thee. Thee alone I love truly above all other things; Thee I seek, _Thee I follow_, Thee I am ready to serve; under Thy rule I wish to dwell, _for Thou alone reignest_. I pray Thee to command me _what Thou wilt_; but heal and open mine eyes that I may see Thy _wonders_, and drive from me folly and _pride, and give me wisdom_ that I may understand Thee, and teach me whither I should look to behold Thee; then shall I, methinks, do gladly that which Thou commandest me.
I beseech Thee, Thou merciful, _benevolent, and beneficent Lord_, to receive me, Thy fugitive; _since once I was formerly Thine, and then fled from Thee to the devil, and fulfilled his will, enduring much misery in his service. But if to Thee it seemeth as it doth to me_, long enough have I felt the pains which I have now suffered, and longer have I served Thy foes than I should those whom Thou hast [under Thy feet].[4] Long enough have I been in the reproach and shame which they brought on me; but do Thou receive me now, Thine own servant, for I am fleeing from them. _Behold, did they not receive me even before I had fled from Thee to them? Never again restore me to them, now that I have sought Thee_, but open to me Thy door, and teach me how to come. I have naught to bring Thee but good will, for I myself have nothing else, nor know I aught better than to love the heavenly and the spiritual above the earthly; and this I do, good Father, since I know naught better than that. _But I know not how I shall now come to Thee except Thou teach me_; teach it, then, to me, and help me. If it is by faith that they find Thee who do find Thee, give me that faith. If by any other power they find Thee who do find Thee, give me that power. If by wisdom they find Thee who find Thee, then give me wisdom. Augment in me the hope _of eternal life_, and increase Thy love in me.
_R._ _I see that thou hast prayed_; but say now what thou hast merited, or what thou wouldst have. _A._ I would understand all, and know what I just now said. _R._ Sum up, then, from _all that thou hast just spoken about, that which seemeth to thee that thou most needest and most requirest to know_; then clothe it in few words, and tell it to me. _A._ _I will tell it to thee at once_: I would understand God and know mine own soul. _R._ Wouldst thou know any thing more? _A._ _Many things I fain would know that I know not._ Howbeit there is nothing I wish more to know than this. _R._ Then inquire after and seek what thou askest, and tell me first what thou knowest with most certainty, and then say to me: 'Sufficiently known will _God and my soul be to me, if they shall be as well known to me as this thing_.' _A._ I can name nothing so well known to me as I would that God were. _R._ What, then, can we do, if thou knowest not the measure? Thou oughtest to know when it seemed to thee enough, and if thou ever come to that limit, then thou shouldst go no further, but shouldst seek something else, lest thou shouldst desire any thing beyond measure.
_A._ I know what thou wishest; I should illustrate to thee by some example; but I can not, for I know naught like unto God, so that I can say to thee: 'I should like to know God as well as I know this thing.' [Sidenote: 15.16--17.8] _R._ _I am astonished at thee_, why thou sayest that thou knowest nothing like unto God, and yet dost not know what He is. _A._ If I knew aught like unto Him, I would love that thing exceedingly. Since I know naught like unto Him, I love nothing but Him and mine own soul; howbeit, I know not what either of them is. _R._ _Thou sayest that thou lovest naught but God and thy soul; if that is true_, lovest thou then no other friend? _A._ Why, if I love a soul, do I not love my friend? Hath not he a soul? _R._ _If thou lovest thy friend because he hath a soul, why, then, lovest thou not every thing that hath a soul?_ Why dost thou not love _mice_ and _fleas_? _A._ I love them not, because they are carnal animals, not men. _R._ Have not thy friends likewise _bodies_, even as beasts have? _A._ Yet it is not on this account I love them, but because they are men, and have reason in their minds--that quality I love even in _slaves_. Those that I hate, I hate because they turn the good of reason into evil, _since I am allowed both to love the good and to hate the evil_. Therefore I love all my friends, some less, some more; and him whom I love more than another, I love him so much more than the other as I perceive that he hath a better will than the other, and the desire to make his reason more serviceable.
_R._ Thou understandest it well enough, and rightly enough. But if any one should now say to thee that he could teach thee how thou mightest know God as well as thou knowest Alypius thy servant, would that seem enough to thee, or how much wouldst thou thank him for it? _A._ I should thank him, but nevertheless I would not answer 'enough.' _R._ Why? _A._ Alypius is better known to me than God, yet even him I know not so well as I would. [Sidenote: 17.9--19.2] _R._ Look to it now that thy desire be not beyond measure, now that thou _comparest them together. Wouldst thou know God just as thou dost Alypius?_ _A._ Nay; nor do I make them the more alike, albeit I name them together. But I say that one often knoweth more about higher than about lowlier things. I know now about the _moon, how it will move to-morrow and other nights_; but, I know not what I shall eat to-morrow, which is a baser matter. _R._ Then wouldst thou know enough about God, if He should be as well known to thee as the _motion of the moon_--in what constellation it now is, or into which it is going next? _A._ Nay; I wish that He were better known to me than the moon which I see with mine eyes. Yet I do not know but that God may, for some secret reasons, which we know not, change it in another wise; then should I be perplexed in what I now imagine I know about it. _But I would have such knowledge about God, in my reason and in my understanding, that nothing could disturb me, nor bring me into any doubt._
_R._ Dost thou believe, therefore, that I can make thee _wiser about God than thou now art about the moon_? _A._ _Yea_; I believe it, but I should prefer to know it, for we believe all that we know, and we are ignorant of many things which we believe. _R._ Methinks that thou dost not trust the external senses--_eyes, ears, smell, taste, and touch--as a means of clearly understanding what thou wouldst, unless thou comprehend it in the mind by the reason_. _A._ _That is true_; I trust them not. _R._ Wouldst thou know thy servant, whom we were just now speaking of, with the outer senses, or with the inner? _A._ I know him now as well as I can know him with the external senses; but I should like to know his mind with my mind; then I should know what _was his loyalty toward me_. [Sidenote: 19.3--20.17] _R._ Can one know otherwise _than with the mind_? _A._ _It doth_ not _seem to me that I can know it_ as I would. _R._ Dost thou, then, not know thy servant? _A._ How can I know him, seeing I am not certain that I know myself? It is said in the law that one shall love his neighbor even as himself. How then do I know in what way I should love him, if I do not know whether I love myself? Nor do I know how he loveth me; yet I know that it is the same with him in regard to me.
_R._ If thou with the inner sense wouldst know God, why pointest thou me to the outer senses, as if thou wouldst see Him bodily, just as thou formerly saidst thou sawest the moon? I know not therefore how thou teachest it to me, nor can I teach it to any one, by the outer senses. But tell me whether it seemeth enough for thee to know God as Plato and Plotinus knew him? _A._ I dare not say that it would seem to me enough, because I know not whether it seemed to them enough in regard to that which they knew. I know not whether it seemed to them that they needed to know more of Him, but even so they formerly seemed to me.[5] When I prayed, methought I did not so fully understand that which I besought as I would. But I still could not forbear to speak about it, just as it seemed to me that I needed, and just as I supposed it was. [5] Doubtful rendering of and _swā-swā mē ēr pūhton_. _R._ _Methinks now it seemeth to thee that_ it is one thing _to know, and quite another only to suppose_. _A._ _Yea, so methinks; therefore I would now that thou tell me what difference there is between these, or what one certainly knoweth._
_R._ _Knowest thou that thou didst learn the science which we call geometry? In that science thou learnedst on a ball, or an apple, or a painted egg, that thou mightest by the painting understand the motion of the heavens and the course of the stars. Knowest thou that thou didst learn in the same science about a line drawn along the middle of the ball? Knowest thou what was there taught thee about the positions of the twelve stars and the path of the sun?_ [Sidenote: 20.17--22.10] _A._ Yea; I know well enough what the line signifieth. _R._ _Now that thou sayest thou doubtest this no whit_, dost thou not fear the Academicians, _those philosophers who said that there was never anything certain beyond a doubt_? _A._ Nay; I do not fear them much, _for they said that there never was a wise man_. Therefore I am not at all ashamed not to be wise, for I know that as yet I am not wise; but if I ever become as wise as they, then I will do as they teach, _until I can say that I know without doubt what I seem to myself to know_. _R._ I do not object at all to thy doing so. But thou sayest thou knowest about the line _which was painted on the ball on which thou learnedst the revolution of this heaven_; I would know whether thou also knowest about the ball _on which the line is drawn_.
_A._ Yea; I know both. _No man can mistake that._ _R._ Didst thou learn with the eyes or with the mind? _A._ With both: first with the eyes, then with the mind. The eyes brought me to the understanding; but after I had perceived it, I left off looking with the eyes, and reflected, _for it seemed to me that I could contemplate much more of it than I could see, after the eyes had fixed it in my mind. Just so a ship bringeth one over the sea; when he cometh ashore, he letteth the ship stand, for it seemeth to him that he can travel more easily without it than with it._ However, it seemeth easier to me to travel by skiff on dry land than to learn any science with the eyes, but without the reason--though the eyes must at times give aid. _R._ _Therefore thou must needs look rightly with the eyes of the mind to God, just as the ship's anchor-cable is stretched direct from the ship to the anchor, and fasten the eyes of thy mind on God, just as the anchor is fastened in the earth. Though the ship be out among the sea-billows, it will remain sound and unbroken if the cable holdeth, since one end of it is fast to the earth and the other to the ship._
_R._ _I wonder why thou speakest so. Suppose now if a letter with seal from thy lord should come to thee, canst thou say thou art not able to understand him by that, nor to recognise his will therein? If thou sayest that thou canst know his will therein, say then whether it seemeth to thee better to follow his will, or to follow after the wealth which he gave thee over and above his friendship._ _A._ _Whether I will or not, I must speak truly, unless I am prepared to lie. If I lie, God knoweth it. Therefore I dare speak only the truth, so far as I can know it. Methinks it is better to forsake the gift, and follow the giver, who is to me the steward both of the riches and of his friendship, unless I can have both. I should like, however, to have both, if I could follow both the wealth and also his will._ [Sidenote: 24.7--25.23] _R._ _Full rightly hast thou answered me, but I would ask thee whether thou supposest that thou canst have all that thou now hast without thy lord's friendship._ _A._ _I do not suppose that any man is so foolish as to think that._ _R._ _Thou understandest it rightly enough, but I would know whether thou thinkest that what thou hast is temporal or eternal._
_A._ _I never supposed it to be eternal._ _R._ _What thinkest thou about God and the anchors which we spake of--are they like these, or are they eternal?_ _A._ _Who is so mad as to dare say that God is not eternal?_ _R._ _If He is eternal, why lovest thou not the eternal Lord more than the temporal? Lo, thou knowest that the Eternal will not leave thee, except thou go from Him; and thou must needs depart from the other whether thou will or no; thou must either leave him, or he thee. Howbeit I perceive that thou lovest him very much, and also fearest and dost well; very rightly and very becomingly thou dost. But I wonder why thou dost not love the Other much more, Him who giveth thee both the friendship of the worldly lord and His own, and, after this world, life eternal. The Lord is the ruler of you both--thine and thy lord's whom thou so immeasurably lovest._ _A._ _I confess to thee that I would love Him above all other things, if I could understand and know Him as I would. But I can understand very little of Him, or nothing at all, and yet at times, when I think carefully of Him, and any inspiration cometh to me about the eternal life, then I by no means prefer this present life to that, nor even love it so much._
_R._ _Wishest thou now to see Him and clearly understand Him?_ _A._ _I have no wish above that._ _R._ _Keep, then, His commandments._ [Sidenote: 25.24--27.13] _A._ _What commandments?_ _R._ _I named them to thee before._ _A._ _Methinks they are very burdensome and very manifold._ _R._ _What one loveth, methinks, is not burdensome._ _A._ _Nor doth any work seem burdensome to me if I can see and have what I work for. But doubt begetteth heaviness._ _R._ _Thou graspest it well enough in speech, and well enough thou understandest it._ But I can say to thee that I am the faculty of Reason, which argueth with thee--the discursive faculty whose province it is to explain to thee in such wise that thou mayest see God with thy mind's eyes as clearly as thou now seest the sun with the eyes of the body. _A._ _Almighty God reward thee! I am truly grateful for thy promise to teach it to me so clearly. Although I was ignorant, yet I emerge from this condition to a clearer vision of Him_, if I come to see Him as I now see the sun. _Howbeit I do not see the sun so clearly as I would like to. I know very little better what the sun is, though I look on it every day. Still it seemed good to me that I might thus clearly see God._
Text from Project Gutenberg, public domain in the United States.