The Complete Works of William Shakespeare · William Shakespeare
SCENE IV. A room in Doctor Caius’s house
Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple. MISTRESS QUICKLY. What, John Rugby! Enter Rugby. I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience and the King’s English. RUGBY. I’ll go watch. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [_Exit Rugby._] An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate. His worst fault is that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way, but nobody but has his fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is? SIMPLE. Ay, for fault of a better. MISTRESS QUICKLY. And Master Slender’s your master? SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife? SIMPLE. No, forsooth, he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard. MISTRESS QUICKLY. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head. He hath fought with a warrener.
MISTRESS QUICKLY. How say you? O, I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? SIMPLE. Yes, indeed, does he. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish— Enter Rugby. RUGBY Out, alas! Here comes my master. MISTRESS QUICKLY. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man, go into this closet. He will not stay long. [_Simple steps into the closet._] What, John Rugby! John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master. I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home. [_Exit Rugby._] [_Sings_.] _And down, down, adown-a, etc._ Enter Doctor Caius. CAIUS Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet _une boîtine verte_, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I speak? A green-a box. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you. [_Aside_.] I am glad he went not in himself. If he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. CAIUS. _Fe, fe, fe fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour—la grande affaire._ MISTRESS QUICKLY. Is it this, sir?
CAIUS. _Oui, mette-le au mon_ pocket. _Dépêche_, quickly—Vere is dat knave Rugby? MISTRESS QUICKLY. What, John Rugby, John! Enter Rugby. RUGBY Here, sir. CAIUS. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court. RUGBY. ’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. CAIUS. By my trot, I tarry too long. ’Od’s me! _Qu’ay j’oublié?_ Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. MISTRESS QUICKLY. Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad! CAIUS. _O diable, diable!_ Vat is in my closet? Villainy! _Larron!_ [_Pulling Simple out_.] Rugby, my rapier! MISTRESS QUICKLY. Good master, be content. CAIUS. Wherefore shall I be content-a? MISTRESS QUICKLY. The young man is an honest man. CAIUS. What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. MISTRESS QUICKLY. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh. CAIUS. Vell? SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to— MISTRESS QUICKLY. Peace, I pray you. CAIUS. Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale. SIMPLE. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.
MISTRESS QUICKLY. This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need not. CAIUS. Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, _baille_ me some paper.—Tarry you a little-a while. [_Writes._] MISTRESS QUICKLY. [_Aside to Simple_.] I am glad he is so quiet. If he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master—I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself— SIMPLE. [_Aside to Mistress Quickly_.] ’Tis a great charge to come under one body’s hand. MISTRESS QUICKLY. [_Aside to Simple_.] Are you avised o’ that? You shall find it a great charge, and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding—to tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it—my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind. That’s neither here nor there. CAIUS. You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park, and I will teach a scurvy jackanape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone, it is not good you tarry here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
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