The Merry Wives of Windsor The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [9 vols.] · William Shakespeare
SCENE I. _A field near Frogmore._
_Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE._ _Evans._ I pray you now, good Master Slender’s serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic? _Sim._ Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every 5 way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way. _Evans._ I most fehemently desire you you will also look that way. _Sim._ I will, sir. [_Exit._ _Evans._ Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and 10 trempling of mind!--I shall be glad if he have deceived me. --How melancholies I am!--I will knog his urinals about his knave’s costard when I have goot opportunities for the ork. --Pless my soul!-- [_Sings._ To shallow rivers, to whose falls 15 Melodious birds sings madrigals; There will we make our peds of roses, And a thousand fragrant posies. To shallow-- Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. [_Sings._ 20 Melodious birds sing madrigals-- Whenas I sat in Pabylon-- And a thousand vagram posies. To shallow &c. _Re-enter SIMPLE._ _Sim._ Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh. 25 _Evans._ He’s welcome. -- [_Sings._ To shallow rivers, to whose falls-- Heaven prosper the right!--What weapons is he? _Sim._ No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, 30 over the stile, this way.
_Evans._ Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. _Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER._ _Shal._ How now, master parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good 35 student from his book, and it is wonderful. _Slen._ [_Aside_] Ah, sweet Anne Page! _Page._ Save you, good Sir Hugh! _Evans._ Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! _Shal._ What, the sword and the word! do you study 40 them both, master parson? _Page._ And youthful still! in your doublet and hose this raw rheumatic day! _Evans._ There is reasons and causes for it. _Page._ We are come to you to do a good office, master 45 parson. _Evans._ Fery well: what is it? _Page._ Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw. 50 _Shal._ I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect. _Evans._ What is he? _Page._ I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, 55 the renowned French physician. _Evans._ Got’s will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
_Page._ Why? _Evans._ He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and 60 Galen,--and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal. _Page._ I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him. _Slen._ [_Aside_] O sweet Anne Page! 65 _Shal._ It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them asunder: here comes Doctor Caius. _Enter HOST, CAIUS, and RUGBY._ _Page._ Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon. _Shal._ So do you, good master doctor. _Host._ Disarm them, and let them question: let them 70 keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. _Caius._ I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not meet-a me? _Evans._ [_Aside to Caius_] Pray you, use your patience: in good time. 75 _Caius._ By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. _Evans._ [_Aside to Caius_] Pray you, let us not be laughing-stocks to other men’s humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. 80 [_Aloud_] I will knog your urinals about your knave’s cogscomb [for missing your meetings and appointments]. _Caius._ Diable!--Jack Rugby,--mine host de Jarteer,--have I not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint? 85 _Evans._ As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed: I’ll be judgement by mine host of the Garter.
Text from Project Gutenberg, public domain in the United States.