Two Gentlemen of Verona The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [9 vols.] · William Shakespeare
SCENE V. _The same. A street._
_Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally._ _Speed._ Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Padua! _Launce._ Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always--that a man is never undone till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say 'Welcome!' 5 _Speed._ Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia? _Launce._ Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted 10 very fairly in jest. _Speed._ But shall she marry him? _Launce._ No. _Speed._ How, then? shall he marry her? _Launce._ No, neither. 15 _Speed._ What, are they broken? _Launce._ No, they are both as whole as a fish. _Speed._ Why, then, how stands the matter with them? _Launce._ Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her. 20 _Speed._ What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. _Launce._ What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me. _Speed._ What thou sayest? _Launce._ Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but 25 lean, and my staff understands me. _Speed._ It stands under thee, indeed. _Launce._ Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
_Speed._ But tell me true, will't be a match? _Launce._ Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say, 30 no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will. _Speed._ The conclusion is, then, that it will. _Launce._ Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable. _Speed._ 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how 35 sayest thou, that my master is become a notable lover? _Launce._ I never knew him otherwise. _Speed._ Than how? _Launce._ A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. _Speed._ Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me. 40 _Launce._ Why fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master. _Speed._ I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. _Launce._ Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name 45 of a Christian. _Speed._ Why? _Launce._ Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go? _Speed._ At thy service. [_Exeunt._ 50 Notes: II, 5. SCENE V.] SCENA QUINTA F1. SCENA QUARTA F2 F3 F4. SCENE VIII. Pope. 1: _Padua_] Ff. _Milan_ Pope. See note (VII). 4: _be_] _is_ Rowe. 21-28: Put in the margin as spurious by Pope. 36: _that_] F2 F3 F4. _that that_ F1. 44: _in love. If thou wilt, go_] Knight. _in love. If thou wilt go_ Ff. _in love, if thou wilt go_ Collier (Malone conj.). _alehouse_] F1. _alehouse, so_ F2 F3 F4. 49: _ale_] _ale-house_ Rowe.
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