Cicero · Marcus Tullius Cicero
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Nunc ad ea, quae scripsisti. Tryphonem Caecilium non vidi. Sermonem tuum et Pompei cognovi ex tuis litteris. Motum in re publica non tantum ego impendere video, quantum tu aut vides aut ad me consolandum adfers. Tigrane enim neglecto sublata sunt omnia. Varroni me iubes agere gratias. Faciam; item Hypsaeo. Quod suades, ne longius discedamus, Athens, the other that he was coming by land through Macedonia. So I sent a note to catch him at Athens, asking him to come on to Thessalonica, and I myself set off and arrived at Thessalonica on the 23rd of May. The only certain news about him, that I have had, is that he started a short time ago from Ephesus. Now I am in great anxiety to know what is happening at Rome. It is true that in one letter dated May 15 you say you have heard that Quintus will be rigorously called in question, and in another that things are calming down: but the latter is dated a day before the former, to increase my perplexity. So, what between my own personal grief, which racks and tortures me daily, and this additional anxiety, I have hardly any life left in me. But the passage was very bad and perhaps, not knowing where I was, he took some other direction. My freedman Phaetho has seen nothing of him. Phaetho was driven back by wind from Ilium to Macedonia and came to me at Pella. I see how threatening the future is, though I have not the heart to write. I am afraid of everything: there is no misfortune that does not seem to fall to my lot. I am still staying in suspense at Thessalonica, with this new fear added to the woes and sorrows that oppress me; and I do not dare to make a move of any kind.
Now for the things you mention in your letter. Caecilius Trypho I have not seen. Of your talk with Pompey I have heard from your letter. I cannot see such signs of a political change as you either see or invent to comfort me: for, if they take no notice of the Tigranes episode, all hope is lost. You bid me pay my thanks to Varro. I will, and to Hypsaeus too. I think I will follow your advice not to go any dum acta mensis Maii ad nos perferantur, puto me ita esse facturum, sed, ubi, nondum statui; atque ita perturbato sum animo de Quinto, ut nihil queam statuere, sed tamen statim te faciam certiorem. Ex epistularum mearum inconstantia puto te mentis meae motum videre, qui, etsi incredibili et singulari calamitate adflictus sum, tamen non tam est ex miseria quam ex culpae nostrae recordatione commotus. Cuius enim scelere impulsi ac proditi simus, iam profecto vides, atque utinam iam ante vidisses neque totum animum tuum errori mecum simul dedisses! Quare, cum me adflictum et confectum luctu audies, existimato me stultitiae meae poenam ferre gravius quam eventi, quod ei crediderim, quem esse nefarium non putarim. Me et meorum malorum memoria et metus de fratre in scribendo impedit. Tu ista omnia vide et guberna. Terentia tibi maximas gratias agit. Litterarum exemplum, quas ad Pompeium scripsi, misi tibi. Data IIII Kal. Iunias Thessalonicae.
Text from Project Gutenberg, public domain in the United States.